Delayed ejaculation is the inability or difficulty for a man to reach orgasm or ejaculation after normal sexual arousal. This average time considered normal is between 20 and 30 minutes. It is necessary to differentiate orgasm from ejaculation although in most cases they occur at the same time.
The orgasm causes reactions in the body such as: a high heart rate, high blood pressure, fast breathing, muscle contractions and intense feelings of pleasure. On the other hand, ejaculation is a genital response of PC muscles that cause spasms and expel sperm out of the penis.
Most men who suffer from delayed ejaculation can not reach orgasm or ejaculate, although in some cases orgasm can be achieved but not ejaculation.
The different types of delayed ejaculation
As we have already seen, dysfunctions can be primary or secondary, occasional or chronic, physical or psychological.
There are very few cases (except for physical causes) where a delayed primary or chronic ejaculator has never ejaculated in all his life. In this case, the man is in no way able to ejaculate, nor masturbating, nor with a partner. But these cases are very rare.
Delayed ejaculation is a dysfunction considered almost exclusively as secondary or acquired over time. In these cases, the subject has been able to ejaculate in the past but is currently struggling. The most common case is when the subject is able to ejaculate in some circumstances, but not in others. Some men can cum while masturbating. Others can not do it with their partner but with their lovers, yes or vice versa. The most common case is when the individual can ejaculate following certain sexual activities, but not during penetrative sex.
Psychological and behavioral causes
Studies and statistics show that the most important causes of delayed ejaculation are the bad habits of masturbation. A man who masturbates quite frequently for a long time with very fast movements has a high risk of developing this dysfunction.
Another bad practice leading to this dysfunction is the method of withdrawing when ejaculation is felt. That is when the man removes his penis from the vagina when he feels he is going to ejaculate. This practice is quite common and used as a contraceptive method (not recommended). The abuse of this practice can lead to the development of delayed ejaculation.
There are also men during sex who develop the need to think about ejaculation instead of enjoying the sensations of pleasure of the moment. They try to skip the stages of sexual arousal by trying to move from grade 6 to grade 9 by speeding up the pace of movement and contracting the PC muscles which further delays ejaculation and worsens the situation.
Others who develop delayed ejaculation are those who only care about providing pleasure during the act to their partner completely forgetting their personal feelings. Many of them voluntarily delay ejaculation so that sex lasts longer and gives more pleasure.
Another cause of delayed ejaculation can come from a feeling of anger (conscious or unconscious) of the man towards his partner. This anger can occur after an infidelity, an abortion, or any other reason that has caused an emotional shock. Many men deny this fact, thinking they have overcome this emotional shock.
We can conclude that retrograde ejaculation is in fact not the impossibility of ejaculation except the inability to manage the impulses and the stages of excitement during sexual intercourse.
Physical and chemical causes
One of the physical causes such as malformation of the glans can cause ejaculation problems. The removal of the prostate due to cancer can result in the impossibility of ejaculation but yes have an orgasm. Certain diseases of the nervous system such as multiple sclerosis can also cause this type of dysfunction by “short-circuiting” the nerves that activate the ejaculatory reflex.
Taking alcohol or drugs such as cocaine, amphetamines or cannabis can cause problems with ejaculation. Many people take these medications with the intention of delaying ejaculation. This is not advisable because they are harmful and quickly lead to addiction.
There are also drugs. Most are prescription-based antidepressants like Prozac or Zoloft, but there are many more. These drugs fall into the category of “selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors” or SSRIs and are known to cause delayed ejaculation as a side effect. In fact, the new treatment for premature ejaculation (Priligy) is a derivative of these antidepressants that has been modified for a short-term effect.
Treatment and results
Delayed ejaculation is one of the least treated sexual dysfunction for the simple reason that the patient feels ashamed to talk about it and ask for help. The truth is that this dysfunction is not easy to overcome and those who suffer from it often wait 15 to 20 years before asking for help for a problem that is already well anchored. These are the most difficult cases to treat and often require months (sometimes one year) of rehabilitation.
Those who have only recently suffered from this dysfunction, such as those who block with their partner, those who are able to ejaculate only by masturbating, those who ejaculate only with some partners and others who do not, tend to recover much more quickly, in a few weeks or maybe a few months at most. What is certain is that the more we let this dysfunction go by and we wait too long to tackle the problem, the harder is the recovery. If you are psychologically ready and willing to put the effort and determination to overcome delayed ejaculation, you can say that you have solved half of the problem. The hardest thing in sexual dysfunction is to accept that you have a problem.